Stay And Play

I've just come home after dropping Pops off for his first school stay and play session. As I walked through the school grounds, I started to cry. I haven't stopped. I'm crying now. Big shuddering sobs actually. I can hardly see through my glasses as I type.

It's been a tough four years. Wonderful. But tough. For many reasons, but mainly the challenge of bringing up three boys of such spread out ages. Their wants and needs are so different, I often feel stretched to breaking point. This week has been difficult in terms of behaviour and issues, and I have dealt with some of it well, some of it not so well and some of it very badly indeed. And when that happens, I'm left questioning my abilities. I'm left wishing for more support. I'm left with an urge to run away. I quite fancy hiding on the Scillies for a week or two.

I'm sure that come September, when Olly is settled and our routine has been established, I'll love the reclaimed freedom that I will have. I know I'll never be bored. There is always something to do, somewhere to go, something to see and someone to have a laugh with. But at the moment I'm letting the tears flow. It's all part of the process.

Excuse me while I grab another tissue.

Leanne xx

Last Week

 

 

Watching Eurovision
Olly was allowed to stay up way past his bedtime. His wasn't too interested in the singing, but he quite enjoyed sharing Alfie's chocolate bar. Note basket of ironing on the table. I styled that shot well.

Thrift at Porth Leven
It was a squally wind on Saturday. Too rough for the sailing club. So me, Marc and Olly went to Porth Leven. We walked, explored and the boys had an ice cream. The bestest charity shop in the world was closed. Boo.

Ladybird
There has been lots of these lovely creatures in the garden lately. I'm dead chuffed.

Bumblebee
Olly could tell you it's a buff tailed one. We have a chart. He is tested daily.

A Lovely Surprise
This was poked through my open window when I came back from picking up Olly on Friday (I live in St Ives. There is no crime. Therefore I have become completely complacent about security). Totally unexpected, and all the lovelier for it.

Birthday
More parcels. It was Marc's birthday on Wednesday. But we celebrated at the weekend. Because he works away. And Olly wanted a banner and balloons for Daddy. Alfie ate most of the cake. Which was shop bought. I bought Marc a cook book. Well a girl can dream...

Mini Figures
They are everywhere at the moment. Even under the dog. She puts up with it, but I can tell she isn't happy with the arrangement.

New Shoes
My new shoes. Blue Converse. It makes a change from my wellies.

An Ostentatious Clematis
But I love it. I am going to take some cuttings to grow more. The flowers are as big as my hand.

Boy With Blue Background
A lovely colour. We are thinking of having Betty sprayed this shade of blue next year. And one of the wellies has lost an eye.

Leanne xx

Not Too Shabby For Rachel

Finally the day that I have longed for since God knows when arrived at my door. A glorious sunny Spring day from beginning to end. I could see the sun peeping through the curtains when I woke, and as I drank my first cup of tea, I watched our Blackbird catching the worm in the garden. And I just knew that today was going to be a Black Eyed Peas kind of a day.

It meant playing outside. Washing on the line. Gardening in earnest. Lunch al fresco. A dip in the tub.

The Lego was the toy of choice, and battles were played out in the borders. Olly and I pond dipped to see whether the frog spawn has spawned (it has). Beryl and Jean obviously enjoyed the sun too, judging by their squawks. And yes of course the boys squabbled over Halo figures and Nerf darts. And yes Olly got a telling off for pulling up a couple of my Tulips. And of course I still had to do the ironing, shopping, bathrooms and have tea ready by 5pm so the worker could get to his washing up duties on time. But it all went down rather easier with the sun warming my back.

Please tell me it's here for a while at least!

Leanne xx

(apologies for the smudge on the camera lens. It may have been mayonnaise...)

Just A Little Catch Up

Sunday evening, and I have just recovered from the hangover from hell. Elderflower Prosecco  goes down very well on a Saturday evening with family. It doesn't feel so good when being woken at 6am by Olly. Yikes! I may have been over excited by the fact that Marc is home for the next ten days. The boys are thrilled. I am relieved. Our plans are for trips out locally, hanging out at home and just being together.

Beryl and Jean are laying every day. They are enjoying the longer days and cluck excitedly whenever I approach them. They only want the food, but I like to think they want to see me too. This weekend I have made egg custards, lemon drizzle cake, omelettes and poached eggs a plenty.

Sam has started his first part time job. He is a kitchen porter at a restaurant in town. I am thrilled for him. His cousin got him the job (thank you Matt). It will be good for him. It will give him confidence if nothing else. Although he made me laugh on Friday night, complaining about not having sat down for over four hours. Bless him!

My garden is full of Tulips. Beautiful brightly coloured blooms that just lift my spirits so much. The weather may be completely miserable outside, which is really ticking me off. But the flowers are busting out. I stand at the conservatory doors drinking my morning tea, staring at them. And listening to the bird song. A Jenny Wren has taken to sitting in the tree proclaiming his territory and displaying his wares for a mate.

We have been talking holidays. To France in Betty. To Camp Bestival. To Wales. To weekends away whenever we feel like it. Marc's job means that we aren't able to plan too far ahead. And to honest we are terrible at it too.

Just a little catch up. Our weekend was good. I hope yours was too.

Leanne xx

Random

Hello to you all. And hello to new followers, you are most welcome here.

Good grief it's foggy here in St Ives today. We were promised a heat wave, and instead got the dreaded sea mist. Apparently Penzance is in rude health. Wall to wall sunshine over there, so I'm told. My head is buzzing today. I have had little or no sleep this week, due to my ridiculous over thinking brain.

Tomorrow is all stations go with several house viewings. Marc is stuck at Gatwick, due to fog at Newquay airport. This morning Alfie has had a hissy fit over Coco Pops, and I escalated the situation by giggling. Oliver refused to come out from under my bed. He was not to be disturbed under any circumstances. I found him eating an Easter egg. So much for buying early and hiding them.

 My sister in law has recently found out that Godfrey, her Christmas Eve rescue Turkey, is in fact a girl. I love this. It has made me smile all week. Samuel is considering his University options. He quite fancies either Cardiff or Edinburgh. Cardiff I can deal with. Edinburgh is in another country. I will never see him again. My diet and exercise regime has gone out of the window this week. Last night I ate a family bag of wine gums and a huge packet of crisps.

 Me and the boys have started watching Will Ferrell movies. I am appalled at my terrible parenting as I laugh along to 'Step Brothers' with them. But I am also gratified by the fact that the boys now think I rock. Whatever it takes to be popular with my kids...an awful admission. No wonder they blithly ignore every request I make to keep their rooms tidy, pick their underwear up from the bathroom floor and lower the lid of the toilet when they have finished. And perhaps flush it too.

I have bought some second hand furniture. Well why not clutter up the house a little more now that I'm trying to sell it. I literally couldn't resist. One will need a rub down and paint. The other is beautiful as it is. I have some garden tales, but have not been able to compose myself long enough to write it. It's about Sweet Peas. That much I do know.

Oh and Olly would like a pink pirate cake for his birthday. And tea at MacDonald's. And a MooMaid ice cream.....and lots of Lego. And a colouring book. And a hamster. He isn't getting a hamster...

Have a great weekend. Think of me tomorrow. I will probably be hysterical or comatose by lunch time.

Leanne xx

Waking Up To Sunshine

The truth of it is that I was woken up to the theme tune of the Lego Movie by Olly. At 6.15am.

Yeah cheers thanks a lot Pops. I stayed up too late reading (again) and was not at all ready to raise my head from my pillow and face the world. But as my blurred vision started to focus, I saw sunshine. Proper honest to goodness sunshine. Early morning sunshine. My favourite kind of sunshine. The sunshine that says "Hey! Good morning! Everything is awesome!"

It was warm too. Maybe not warm warm, but warm enough that I wasn't shivering as I let Beryl and Jean out and gave them their breakfast. And for the first time in months there were eggs. I think that my recent makeover of their space has done them the world of good. They were warm in my hand as I carried them into the house, and showed them to Pops, who was multi-tasking....

Cereal, sequins, glue and a picture of the sun. Off I wafted. Up the stairs to wake up Alfie and sneak a picture out of Sam's bedroom window. Honestly the view is wasted upon someone who spends most of their lives in perpetual darkness. I shall miss this view when we move. Where we are hoping to go has a different view.

And then the grey clouds descended inside the house, as Alfie and I locked horns. Again. This time over the fact that the boxes I had collected for him for his castle making in history class weren't plain. It would be too embarrassing, he said, to take those boxes. Everyone would laugh at him. And don't get me started on the whole milkshake spilt in his rucksack argument.....but any other rucksack in the house looks like a camping rucksack, he said. And it would be too embarrassing to carry it. Everyone would laugh at him.

Oh. My. God. Do you know how hard it is to balance on the high wire that is acute pre-teen sensitivity? I fall off at least twice a day. I never get it right. I think that I'm actually not supposed to get it right. Because what would Alfie do then? He would have no-one to blame. No-one to raise his eyes to heaven to. No-one to yell "I HATE you," at at every given opportunity. I am his whipping boy.

And I'll be honest with you. I'm thinking of boycotting anywhere where there are people waxing lyrical about how wonderful and perfect and good and talented and kind and generous and easy going and talented cooks and supreme sportsmen and all round good eggs their offspring are. It just depresses me. My children are for the most part pretty horrid. I am a harassed, worn down reactive mother. Who still makes pancakes for them on Shrove Turesday. When I should have bought the ready made ones, a microwave, a jiff squeezy lemon and told them to get on with it.

I shall try again at about 3.30 this afternoon. I shall try and be an understanding Mum. I shall try and look at the world from their point of view. I shall try and remember that being a teen is no joke. I shall try and bite my tongue, and choose my battles carefully. I shall not engage with rudeness. I shall be firm but fair. I will not raise my voice. I shall not shout "I hate you too!" 

And if all else fails, At least there was sunshine. For a while anyway.

Leanne xx

Lately

1. Potting on the pixie lupins. Olly is now an accomplished gardener, needing very little help. He understands that the seedlings need to be handled with care.
2. Shop bought Daffodils. I love watching the tight buds start to unfurl and flower during the course of the day.
3. A gift from Mum. She saw me eyeing up this pretty trio and gave it to me before she left to go home.
4. As I was filling up the kettle for my morning cup of tea, I noticed that the Iris had finally come out to say hello.
5. Clematis Montana waking up again. I can hardly wait for it's beautiful floral display.
6. There has been sunshine. 
7. Olly and his friend Archie. A play date, a plate of fruit and super hero adventures.

March is a transitional month. Officially Spring, although it may not really feel like it for several weeks yet. To us at least. I love March. Everything comes alive again. It's time to get out there and soak it all up. I just wish this rain would stop.

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments on my last post. It's a big deal, selling up and moving on. We are not moving far. I could never leave West Cornwall. There is a magic to this place. It's got under my skin. Exciting times lay ahead. After the stress of buying, selling, packing, unpacking and persuading Alfie that catching a school bus won't psychologically damage him.

Most of our my free time has been spent getting the house in order. My camera hasn't come out to play for days. I sit down to write, but there is nothing much to tell. I have so enjoyed reading your posts though. And welcome to new followers to this blog. You are very welcome here. This topsy turvy world of mine!

Leanne xx