Sunday 5 November 2017

Life Lessons


 


Well hello there.

I've been meaning to catch up for a little while, but time and tide, and all that. Anyway, life here trucks along. Half term was actually completely manic. The town was crazy busy, and therefore so was Ship Shape. We worked every day, and I have the repetitive strain that comes from cleaning glass shower cubicles to prove it. Mum moved down last Friday, and is currently ensconced in the teeny spare room. Olly is loving having her here. She has chocolate. As am I. She does my ironing. Ultimately the plan is for her to move into a place of her own, but I think we are leaving the search until the new year. A little time for the dust to settle, and for her to get into the rhythm of life in St Ives.

Running has rather taken a back seat these past few weeks. I don't seem to have enough hours in the day at the moment, and something has had to give. But I had a quite wonderful run this morning, and I am hopeful that November will give me further running opportunities. We will be quieter this month and next. The town has less visitors during these months, and I have to admit that I am relishing some time to devote to other things. Things like painting, baking, writing, pottering and walking. And just being in one spot for more than five minutes.

An interesting work development has been landing a contract with a lettings agency to clean empty properties before new tenants move in, or after they've done a bunk and moved out. It's been a very steep learning curve for Karen and I. Not the actual scrubbing. But dealing with - how shall I say - really bloody rude and patronising people who think that one's worth is decided by the assumptions made on the job one does. I don't know about you, but I was brought up to treat others as I would like to be treated myself. And my Dad impressed upon me from a very young age that no-one was more worthy than me, because of a position they held in society and vice versa. I think I've lived my life with these two tenants as a core of who I am. I am equal to all, and all are equal to me. And I would hope that I treat those around me or with who I come in contact with, in a respectful manner.

It's been a real shocker that both me and my sister in law have been roundly patronised, looked down upon and taken for fools this week. It has sat very badly with me. I've felt angry and frustrated. I've taken real exception to the idea that just because I clean for a living it somehow makes me stupid, and also some kind of serf. Honestly my blood just boils thinking about it now. Don't get me wrong; I've had similar experiences in the past. But it has been so transparent this week, that I've had difficulty processing it. On the one hand I want to drop my degree into conversation, just to inform these people that I am more than a mop and a bucket. But this has conflicted with my core belief that I am as worthy a person as the next man, regardless of education or employment. I have found my accent slowly sounding more posh, with really long words creeping into rather mundane conversations. I actually dislike the fact that I'm doing it. But I also really dislike the way that I am being treated, and there is an inner conflict building within.

I mutter to myself  "this says more about them, than it will ever say about you." And then find myself enraged that they are talking to my sister in law in that manner too! I feel protective of her, and want to slam them up against their poxy filing cabinet. It really has bought out some overwhelming feelings. I have had to acknowledge to myself that I have got into bed with the devil. For the moment, I am biding my time. I'm hoping that I will somehow change their perspective of others through my sheer force of nature, sharp wit and arcane literary references. However, I'm realising that there are some people that I will have dealings with that are complete dicks, and no amount of Mrs Nice Leanne will ever change that.

It has also been a lesson in humility. This week, we have cleaned two properties that frankly were the most depressing spaces I have ever stepped inside. The landlords had given scant interest to the maintenance and upkeep of said properties. Kitchens were falling apart, and in a very poor state. Bathrooms were run down and tatty. Both properties were in poor decorative repair, with shoddy workmanship throughout. Basic, a landlord would probably call it. I think the word is exploitative. People have to rent these God awful places, because there is such a shortage of decent social housing. The rents charged are sky high, because of the areas that they are in. And they are in this hideous housing trap of paying exorbitant rents, and never being able to save for much else, least of all a deposit on their own home. Cornwall has this reputation as a wonderfully high end place to come and stay. But scratch a little beneath the surface, and there are low wages, zero contract hours, nowhere affordable to live and a few making a mint out of the many.

Karen and I were open mouthed at first, wandering around not knowing where to start. How do you make a silk purse from a sows ear? How can we make this look anything other than bad? So we cleaned and scrubbed and polished and mopped and buffed these horrid places to within an inch of their lives. We felt that at the very least, new tenants could move into somewhere clean and fresh. It was the least we could do. And yes, I know we're being paid (although not as much as you might think), but there's a sense of pride to be had in a job well done. And a sense of sadness that we could do no more than we had.

I came back from one such clean today, and was so grateful for the lovely welcoming space that I live in. I was so grateful for the security that Marc and I can offer our boys. I was happy to feel the heat from the radiators. I was struck by the fact that perhaps our home isn't so bad after all. Yes it's showing a few signs of wear and tear. But it's looked after and maintained. It's full of the personalities of the people who live there, which includes the height charts of Sam, Alf and Olly scratched into the utility room door frame. It is welcoming and inviting, with a few scuffs here and there. It is a home.

I sometimes wonder if there is any point in worrying and fretting about things I cannot change. I live in a society that is unequal in so many respects. That showers opportunity on the few, and dumps on the many. But fret I do. I know that my children have probably a better than average chance of getting on in life. I know that I will probably be okay when I retire. For the most part I have my health, and I can provide for my family so that they can have theirs. I'm not stuck in the poverty trap that so many others are. I'm eternally grateful to my parents for the sacrifices that they made for me in order that I had an education that was not to be had by most kids in my neighbourhood. My horizons were broadened, and I was able to step a little way up the social ladder. The class system still exists in this country; it's just packaged in a different way now. Look at Grenfell. Look at I Am Daniel Blake. Look at food banks and Provident and Cash Converters.

I feel impotent with rage at it all.
And guilty.
And sad.
And a bit of a hypocrite too.

..........


Thanks for taking the time to read a little snapshot of the processing that has been going on behind the scenes here. It really is appreciated.

Have a lovely week. I shall be baking Christmas cakes, painting the landing, cleaning my own house, walking in the fresh air, taking Alf to the first of three college open events, trying to get Olly to stop saying the word 'moron' and having a gander at the new Home Bargains store that's just opened in Hayle.

All my love,

Leanne xx










16 comments:

  1. Well I would drop your degree into the conversation, and use very long words just to irritate the hell out of them ( after all , they are the devil !!!). Sorry it has got to you, no one deserves to be treated badly, bring them up short.

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  2. You will never change the mind of people like that, you having a degree just makes you the exception to the rule. Hate people like that, you just want to smash them a good one. I never judge people by what they do, it's you as a person I want to know, not your job.
    We're supposed to be a classless society here in the states, but we're not, it's just the same and we've really felt it since we moved to the Southern United States, the rest of the country looks down on the people here like they're some sort of illiterate backwater. It's so sad.
    Next time you see your evil employer just look them in the eye and pity them for being the ignorant piece of pooh that they are, you have nothing to prove and would still be a wonderful person if you'd drop out of school at 13 and they'd still be a classless twit no matter what degree they held or money they had.

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  3. Idiots, the lot of them! Having given up work to raise my girls (which, incidentally, I don't regret for a second) when my husband was working away from home a lot, I was 'reduced' to the role of housewife and consequently treated by society as if my brain had suddenly dropped out. Whilst it was frustrating in the extreme, I found that I usually felt worse if I did drop my degree into the conversation. It made me feel as if I was trying to justify my existence. Smiling sweetly whilst thinking 'Tosser' was usually more effective.
    I'm so glad that your Mum has made the move and will now be able to enjoy all the delights of your gorgeous St. Ives.
    Enjoy your decorating. xx

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  4. Like VeggieMum above, I gave up work to be with the children for ten years and I would feel really awkward passing myself off as 'housewife', wanting to ean forward, tap the person on their arm and say "actually I was a nurse, I do have a brain" - and if I was able to do so, I did - so, go on, beef yourself up!
    Lack of respect is, I fear, a bit of a society problem and one you won't sort out in your job and also one I won't sort out in mine: I do like the way you put it though - wise words.
    But a lot of good is going on! Christmas cake baking and running! Great! Well, not so much the running - not where I'm standing anyway! Xx

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  5. I wonder what would happen if you pointed out that they were patronising you? A little educating sounds in order. They probably don’t even realise they’re doing it, these kinds of personal bias can be so ingrained and unconscious. Irritating for you though and I would feel the same way. Glad all else is well xx

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  6. All I can say is well done you sticking it out and trying to make a difference to that rented accommodation. We have exactly the same problem here. Sky high rents for sub standard rental units. The local paper did a feature and one of the photos showed rats in the food cupboards. As you say people can never afford to buy a house because they don’t have enough money to save when paying huge rents. You can make a difference Leanne. Put those arrogant idiots in their place. Make the local media aware. Good luck. B x

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  7. Hey Leanne. Read this post last night, had to go away to think before commenting. I think a thick skin, eduction and leading by example is the only way forward, chipping away one pebble at the time. I know it is probably a difficult thing to do but I would try to explain to the agency that you feel patronised and that you are not feeling comfortable with the lack of respect you and Karen are having to face. You could put it in writing actually, it may be easier as no doubt the response to a chat would be denial and maybe even a "counterattack". We teach our children to speak up when they don't feel comfortable but so often we, the grown-ups, don't.

    It is such an ingrained attitude in our society, the sense of superiority. It permeates all layers of society unfortunately. I undertook a study once to explore the identity of academic staff with "only" a teaching remit. You wouldn't believe the crap these academics face from some "proper" academics with a research remit and from senior management, too. I was hoping that this study (my dissertation) would help to change the class thinking in academia but of course it has made no difference at all. Still, I keep on chipping away (quietly feeling miserable), hoping that one day, attitudes change.

    Keep on scrubbing with pride my friend. You are doing a fab job and you are making a real difference. xxx

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  8. Shame on the people who are talking down to you both. As you say, it reveals a lot about them. My partner deals with housing cases in his work, and some of the conditions are absolutely horrific, to the extent that people become ill. It makes me very grateful for what I have, which no doubt to many doesn't look like much. I hope you enjoy the quieter work period. CJ xx

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  9. I can't really add anything of note to the previous comments, but it is so heartening to hear that you can get some intrinsic benefit from a job well done. One that treats people you don't know with respect, even when no-one else seems to care at all. Plus, anything that makes us feel more connected to our own home and family is never a wasted experience.

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  10. I have a very responsible job in a Secondary School. Another colleague and I took on some extra hours cleaning the school after lessons as we are both term time only.

    We were treated and spoken to very differently by the same Staff we worked with all day, as a cleaner. To say it was a shock would be an understatement. I had to give it up and now do some top up hours in a Supermarket, where I still occasionally get talked down to, but I can cope with that better.

    Chin up Leanne, I agree with you totally that it reflects on the person with the bad attitude not on us. By the way, the Headmaster is always appreciative and respectful to everyone!

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  11. I’ve just caught up, I’m stealing Ollys word- morons. Big hugs lovely lady xx

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  12. Hi Leanne, like Christina I read your post yesterday but had to come back and reread in order to reply in a manner that such a brilliant blog deserves. I am constantly enraged at the utter lack of compassion and understanding that our governments have for the current housing situation. In Ireland we have gone from a property crash to a housing crisis in 9 years, we left London because it was just too expensive. Of course, then as I was able to take time off to raise my kids I have been patrontized and devalued left, right and centre! I think I have decided to concentrate on things I can change. I had a little tear when I read about your determination to make those rentals pleasant. Keep dropping in those arcane literary references, maybe your influence will in some small way humanise these dicks! xx

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  13. Great post, and great comments above! I found that I'd be treated similarly when I worked in retail, and certainly talked down to. I want to say rise above it but I know I'd want to chuck in references to my master's just to see a response, but people like that aren't really listening to you whatever you say, however you say it. Twats, honestly. And don't get me started on social inequality.... Xxx

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  14. I agree with the other comments. I've been mulling your post over since I read it a couple of days ago as it chimes so much with something I've been pondering lately. Respect: that's what seems to be lacking in many people in many different areas, levels, etc. I'm sorry you've been on the receiving end of dickery – some people are just ignorant and of course there's the horrid tendency by some to make themselves feel better by putting others down. As Olly says – morons! Deep breaths. You and Karen are making a difference by respecting the tenants of the properties you clean, keeping your cool, doing a good job, sticking it to the man.
    There's huge social inequality in this corner of the country, too. Everyone thinks the south east is paved with gold but this is a forgotten corner of Kent with huge social problems. There's a lot that makes me mad but I guess we just have to chip away and do what we can.
    As ever, Leanne, you write beautifully and powerfully. Thank you. Sam xx

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  15. Those tenants are so lucky to have you and Karen trying your best to make their new homes as good as you can. It must have been looked down and taken as fools. I would throw in your degree in conversation. I expect both of you are more qualified and experienced than them. Sadly the situation you describe of low wages, high rental and food banks is just as common here. Sarah x

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  16. Not so long ago I watched a road sweeper at work...and I thought....without you pushing your cart up and down the streets of our towns where would all our surgeons, lawyers, and accountants, be...up to their armpits in stinking rubbish and riddled with disease...I felt like going up to him and thanking him for having such an important role in our society, I didn't, but I really really wish I had. x

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