Monday 10 February 2014

Night Terrors

When I was young I suffered from nightmares. My parents put it down to an over active imagination. I remember at the time not being sure what that actually meant. Was it a bad thing? I had no idea. My dreams were always vivid back then, and I would often tell my Dad all about them in the morning when I jumped into my parents bed for early morning cuddles (and some of Dad's toast). I don't often recall my dreams now. I joke that it is because I sleep with one ear to the door, and so never sleep properly.

Olly has night terrors, as did Alfie before him. But Olly's are more severe. I've just come down from dealing with a particularly nasty one that lasted about fifteen minutes. Cuddles didn't work. A sip of water didn't work. Alfie didn't work. It is a horrible thing to witness. You can do nothing to alleviate their distress. And in fact you are advised not to, although that is easier said than done when your child is seemingly wide eyed with terror pointing at some unknown horror in the distance.

I think that Olly has a pretty good bed time routine. He doesn't always have a bath, because he's not keen. But from six until seven I do try to enforce quiet time. That means no Power Rangers or rampaging around the house with Alfie. It means changing into his pyjamas and settling down for a cuddle on the sofa. We used to catch some of the bedtime hour on CBeebies, but he is growing up and away from that now.


We climb the stairs, clean teeth (always a battle), use the loo and he hops into bed. I read him a couple of books, we kiss and cuddle goodnight and he snuggles down with Blue Bear. I turn out the light, and shut his door. He has always slept like this and hasn't got a problem with it. In fact he falls asleep very quickly, especially on nursery days. If he is going to have a night terror, it will usually be about an hour after he has gone to bed.

So I have been googling to see whether I can help alleviate or stop these blasted things. I should say that he has no memory of them in the morning, and it doesn't affect him the next day. While these terrors are going on, he isn't really awake. His eyes may be open, but he most definitely is not at home. It's me that gets upset. I worry about what could have happened, or what I have inadvertently exposed him to for him to be locked away in this scary place.

I think that I shall have a little chat to him tomorrow, and find out if anything is bothering him. I'm not sure how to go about it, but will give it a go. I am also wondering whether he gets too hot. Olly will happily strip to his bare bottom on the beach in December. Maybe a duvet is too much? Even if it is a children's one. Perhaps the trusty animal throw would be better. I could always tuck him into the duvet before I go to bed (I have a thing about my children being too cold).

Do or did any of your children have night terrors? How did you cope? What did you do to try and break the cycle? Should I wake him up, or should I enforce bath time as a way of calming him gently?

Leanne xx












13 comments:

  1. I have no experience with this at all, so I'm not help. His evening routine sounds really good to me. I wish I could offer something constructive. I hope it gets better soon. I'm thinking maybe it's just a phase, but I know that isn't very helpful. Hang in there.

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  2. Poor little chap. It does sound as though you are doing everything you can. I have heard on the radio once that music can get through and be calming when a child doesn't appear to be able to listen to your voice during a night terror. A nice piece that they have good associations with - maybe there is something you could play to him regularly a positive and calm moment during the day. And maybe a little lavender essential oil soaked into a cloth or cotton wool and left by his bed might be relaxing. I do hope that things improve soon, it must be very hard for you. CJ xx

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  3. So sorry about your little man, I hope that you find a solution soon. xx

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  4. Leanne. I have been thinking about this as I have been doing my morning chores. When I taught in Nursery one little boy was having night terrors. We talked about the legend of the North American Indians dream catchers. There are lots of stories if you Google it. Maybe you would find a version that you particularly like and read it with Olly. Not necessarily talking about his dreams. On the other hand it might provide a platform of understanding for him if he wants to talk about it.
    We then made individual dream catchers for all of the children. They loved making them and the parents were thrilled with the idea.
    http://www.kidzworld.com/article/26775-how-to-make-a-dream-catcher

    Again this is only one example. You could use your local area to find the feathers and make it even more special and personal to Olly. The birds could carry those dreams away on their backs. Add shells and they could represent the waves taking them away. Add leaves and the wind could blow them away.

    Maybe taking an active role in making it might make ally feel he is taking an active part.
    Only a thought xx x

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    1. Sorry predictive text has turned Olly to Ally

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    2. Thank you Linda. A dream catcher sounds like a lovely thing to do with him. We can pick things up on our daily walks this week, and make one together. I shall look at the article too.

      Leanne xx

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  5. yes i did dream catchers with busby who although he doesn't have night terrors he did have a stage of nasty dreams! he was shocked though when after he made the dream catcher a few months later he had another bad dream, i had to explain it captured most of the bad dreams but not all and turns them into stars that twinkle! as a kid and young adult i slept walked every night...even letting myself out of the house! i had worry dolls for years under my pillow that i would tell my worrys to.....that may be an option? hugs my darling this must really be horrible for you x

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  6. Poor you and Olly. The night terrors are probably more upsetting for you than him if they are anything like those Annie use to have. She would always sit up straight in her bed and make mewling noises, with eyes wide open, staring but not seeing. Sometimes she would walk around the house with a similar expression on her face, making really scary sounds She never remembered her terrors either. We tried all sorts of things, even waking her up but there was nothing really we could do, in fact, she seemed to be more agitated when we tried to calm her down, or try to settle her. She would get particularly agitated if we tried to hold her in a hug. Who knows, maybe she thought we were giant crabs, it is impossible to see their little minds. In the end we sat with her until it passed to make sure she was safe and stayed with her for a while after to make sure she was soundly asleep. It was a horrible experience and I understand how stressful this must be for you just now. I don't know how long Alfie had night terrors for but Annies eventually stopped after a few months although very rarely she would have a similar experience even now. I don't know what a GP might tell you to do but I would probably go and see one for reassurance, particularly if Ollys night terrors are so severe. I wonder if a dream catcher would help if Olly is not at all aware of his night terrors. With night mares you often wake up and remember but with the night terrors there seems to be no waking up. But collecting things for a dream catcher, make one and having a wee chat might do wonders if something bothers him. Children worry about the most unexpected things. Make sure you look after yourself and don't ask Dr Google for too much help because that's always really scary! I am keeping my fingers crossed you and Olly to have a restful night. Cx

    P.S. Olly has a great night time routine, perfect for a little boy. My brother used to have a rag doll with a scarf that had some of mum's perfume for comfort. Maybe Olly would like something like that?

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  7. Oh dear, how upsetting for you. I have to say his bedtime routine sounds perfect, so calm and loving. Angus sometimes wakes around 9 or 10 at night from a bad dream and needs comfort, but he usually comes out of it quite quickly. I don't think it counts as a night terror. It's probably just a phase and if he's not unhappy during the day I wouldn't worry too much.

    I have incredibly vivid dreams, and always have done. They are like films in my head - I can tell you what everyone wore and said in great detail (I don't though) and the feeling my dream leaves with me can affect my mood for the whole day. John thinks I'm mad. x

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  8. Gosh I'm no help on this one, sounds like you're going above and beyond with the night time routine. I have very vivid dreams, always have, and they are usually worse and more nightmarish when I'm overtired, which is often!!! Poor thing. Hope you can sort it out soon x

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  9. My dear Leanne how horrible for poor Olly and you to have to go through this. Unfortunately I have no experience of this and can offer very little advice, other than perhaps invest in a little rescue remedy spray or tincture that you can just pop into his mouth when things are a little hairy. I do find that it really works for stressful situations and it is definitely worth a try. It is completely natural so it won't harm little Olly. Personally I also think that talking to him is a really good place to start, so it seems that you are doing all the right things my dear. Sending you much love and also wishes for better nights. xoxo

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  10. Oh what a hard thing for you all and poor soul. My brother had night terrors as a child, I remember being really freaked out by them. They just stopped over time- sorry that doesn't really help xx

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