Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Girl Talk


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Hello gorgeous ones.
 
I seem to have taken an unexpected mini blog break. It happens sometimes. Here I am pottering about in my little uneventful life, and three week have gone by. Even the photos above are rather out of date. I uploaded them last week, and that's as far as I got.
 
I'd like to be able to share deeds of high adventure and excitement. But it's all same old same old here, I'm afraid. It suits me fine of course. But I do wonder how I am able to engage you all in what is my five hundredth post, when the most outrageous thing I've done is to start using coconut milk in my morning porridge. Well Ella swears by it, and my vanity would love to believe that if I use it too, I'll capture some of her youthful beauty. If she told me to eat dirt I probably would at this moment in time. I'm staring down the barrel of my forty sixth birthday, and it's not sitting at all well with me.
 
It's actually not a looks thing, because quite frankly I'm not arsed about that at all. I think it's the fear of turning invisible as I get older. The other day I was in the book shop in town. There was a perfectly pleasant young chap behind the counter, and we struck up a conversation about favourite authors, and personal recommendations. It was all very amicable. And then it happened. The shop door opened, and in walked a much younger version of myself. And I was immediately cast out. I went from interesting to invisible in three seconds flat. The pleasant chap behind the shop counter turned all of his attention to this young slip of a thing. Smiling and flirting and whatever. And I no longer warranted merit. It sucked.
 
And I thought to myself that Nora Ephron was totally spot on. It was my rite of passage into that  weird time in a woman's life, when she is no longer young but not yet old. She is slightly invisible. And it's not that I have any desire to be conspicuous. I have no desire to try and stay young and hip and down with the kids bollocks. I've done my partying. I've no desire to carry on. There's no way I'm popping on a pair of hot pants, or those jeans with the rips at the knees. The world can do without that image seared onto their retinas. I'm just not prepared to fade away just yet. I'd quite like to morph into a Helen Mirren type. A woman who is not afraid of her age. A woman who is still vibrant and valid. A woman who is comfortable in her own ageing skin. In short, my kind of woman.
 
So I've decided that come the 26th March, I will not go quietly into the night. I'm not going to roar either, because it's a waste of time frankly. You roar, and everyone else hears moaning. And that's not for me. I moan enough within my own four walls, and nothing ever comes of it. So, I am going to pull my green Dunlop wellies over my middle aged calves. I am going to pop on my practical coat. I am going to stride across the beach, saying hello to everyone I pass. In short, I shall continue along this path of mine in much the same way as I have always done. But I shall do so secure in the knowledge that I refuse to turn invisible. Because I defy anyone to ignore a woman walking with her head held high, smiling about nothing in particular.
 
And if that fails, I shall bribe them with chocolate.
 
Leanne xx
 
Oh and I shall continue to write these daft process on the page posts, that I refuse to edit for fear that it all becomes over-polished and essayed. I shall tell you that, even though it's more to do with sheer laziness, than any real desire for congruence ;))
 
 
 Edit: I am very late in reading and responding to all of your latter posts. Please forgive, and bear with. My computer doesn't like me, and my phone died this week. xx
 
 
 
 

 
 

 

29 comments:

  1. Well, I think you have a very healthy attitude. I wish more women would adopt it, I think they'd feel better about themselves. I don't see much to be afraid of in getting older, personally. I like the person I am in my late thirties more than any other person I've been so far, if that makes sense. I finally feel like I fit into myself, like I'm finally the age I have felt like all along. I hope that continues as I get older, just keep feeling more like who I was supposed to be.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leanne, something tells me that you could never be invisible. Vibrant and valid yes. Invisible no! Maybe one of these days I will bump into you striding across the beach in your green wellies. I hope so because you make me laugh which, let's face it, is what it's all about. Enjoy the 26 th and from a 60 year old just know that life's only just started my friend. ENJOY. B xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Life is too short to be invisible! I know you won't need to bribe anyone with chocolate if your are walking with your head held high, smiling about nothing in particular as you strive along the beach. Amazing waves and poor Honey looks so windswept! Sarah x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Invisible, you? I don't believe it. Lovely set of photos as always. Honey's looking remarkable fierce in that last one ;-) ps glad you're back xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Leanne, a great post, I always love seeing your beach photos (envious) :) I agree with the age thing as my barrel turns 47, 47 really? How the H did that happen? Apart from the aches and pains I still think I'm 20 something! Ha ha. I am determined to grow old disgracefully, I'll be that old woman in purple :) x

    ReplyDelete
  6. It is that sort of middle aged middle of nothingness feeling isn't it. The kind of what am I? I think that going onwards and being yourself and just keeping on is a good idea! Whatever comes I hope you have a great birthday in this wonderful decade that you are in and that it brings great things to you!! xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. You're my kind of woman Leanne, I so enjoy your thoughts on it all. Well done on 500 posts, that's a great achievement. I am also holding my head up high while walking along in my wellies. I'm interested in the coconut milk thing and wondering whether there's some in the cupboard. I think there is. I shall give it a whirl. No harm in maintaining my youthful bloom... CJ xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. You go girl! I have to admit that I do have jeans with ripped knees but they are through wear, not design. Let's all defy invisibility and stride along together. Now, where did I put that purple dress?! xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. Brilliant post!Utterly, utterly, brilliant! xo

    ReplyDelete
  10. Loved your post. Loved Nora's book, "Sorry About My Neck" and Helen Mirren is my hero.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I always enjoy your real life posts Leanne, it's always a pleasure to read your blog. It has a certain calm & gentleness to it. I've always been an older soul & have grown happier each year that I aged. I recall one of the young chaps in the race room several years back being horrified as he approached his thirties. Did you know you can now buy jeans with the knees ripped already, oh the horror. xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. It's my birthday today, im 48. That's grown up isn't it, really grown up, I mean that's getting old. But I don't feel old (well I do from aches and pains), but I still want to have fun, to run, to laugh, to be silly, stick my tongue out in between having to work and run a house and I will because then I'm not invisible, I'm being me. Go stride, go stomp and splash and yes smile and say hello to everyone you meet. xx

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ah, great post - good to see you back! And so good to read your words. You strike a chord, I must say, but I like the 'smile and carry on' bit, because I can moan an awful lot (especially at work...) And your birthday is on a Saturday! The best day of the week for a birthday! Xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. real life posts are the best Leanne x happy birthday in advance, I'm staring down the same barrel in a few months, except I'm sticking my head in the sand like an ostrich and pretending it won't happen .......

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi Leanne. You are most certainly not invisible, but I know what you mean, us middle aged women do seem to take up position in the background, leaving the front for our younger counterparts. I think the invisibility also applies to guys actually. I am glad to be less visible to be honest and I enjoy my own personality more now that I am less stressed about who I am. I probably don't make any sense. I am not done partying though :-) I'll join you on the beach for a walk, in my head at least. Honey looks like a fierce creature on this photo! Christina xxx

    ReplyDelete
  16. First of all, congrats on 500 posts! As for being invisible, I had it happen to me several times last fall when I was in Ireland. It's happened on a smaller scale before and not really bothered me all that much. But the incidents in Ireland were so in my face that it was hard to ignore. I like your attitude of not going quietly into the night. I think I need to copy you, hold my head high, and smile at everyone I encounter. Thanks you for this post. Oh, and Honey looks hilarious in that picture. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. It is so ironic that we are so overlooked as an asset when we get into our late forties. We know everything, we have life experience coming out of our ears and yet our kids think we are boring, a lot of males over look us and we are hard on our own sex. Very frustrating. When I was younger I hated the attention my big boobs got me, and wanted to be invisible - be careful what you wish for...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Blow age, he says, middle gaged man getting middler.

    Love the wild sea shots!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Another brilliant post Leanne. It has taken me till my last birthday (67) to be totally comfortable in my own skin and I am now trying to make up for lost time. Have a wonderful birthday.

    Love Alex xx

    Love Alex xx

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well I can think of one lady who is 90 next month who i'm certain never gets ignored. Be your own queen Leanne!

    ReplyDelete
  21. What you described about being invisible - I remember feeling that the first time I ever went out pushing a pram or buggy. It's not nice. But how can you think yourself invisible when you're so cool, interesting, intelligent and funny?

    Congratulations on reaching 500 posts! Xx

    ReplyDelete
  22. Just wait until you are my age, dear girl, and totally grey and only 5ft 2in tall. You do become invisible to others (well, younger others!) In a shop a year or two ago (a health food shop with not a particularly young person behind the counter) I waited until she'd finished her conversation on the phone, standing patiently at the counter. Then a younger person and taller (that's easy, being taller than me!) came in and stood to the side of me. I'd been there some time, you understand, and the person on the phone had actually looked at me as she spoke to whoever was on the other end of the line. As soon as she put the receiver down she spoke to the Other Person and asked what she wanted?
    "Excuse me," said I, "I think you'll find that I was first ..." to which the woman behind the counter eyed me suspiciously and said, "Oh, I didn't see you there!"
    The sod has looked right at me when I was waiting. So I said, "I'm not here for my health," (which came out spontaneously but as this was a health food shop afterwards I thought it funny!) and with that I walked out.
    Mind you, I cease being invisible when I open my mouth! I can come over all Margo Leadbetter from The Good Life on occasion! But, sadly, grey haired ladies of around 5ft really do become invisible. You've a few years to go before you reach my age, but you might as well get used to it now, chuck!
    Margaret P

    ReplyDelete
  23. One of the best bits about walking and off-road cycling (apart from the beautiful scenery, the exercise and feeling good) is the opportunity to smile and say hello and sometimes even stop and chat to other folk. I do this all the time. I hope you're planning a special day for your Easter birthday and that it might include a beautiful coastal walk - perhaps to Zennor for a drink via River Cove and then the bus home?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh, I've said this many times before, Leanne, but we are so incredibly alike. I turned 44 this month (March 6th) and have been somewhat depressed lately (hence very little blogging and responding) due to this becoming increasingly invisible. Because that's what I'm beginning to notice these days: that I'm invisible, relatively insignificant and feeling as though I missed the boat somewhere along the way. It's not a nice feeling and I'm hoping it will pass quickly. Thinking of you xxx

    ReplyDelete
  25. By the way: Oprah says things get better as you get older. "If you think 40 is great, wait till you get to 50" she once annouced enthusiastically. Guess we'll have to take her word for it ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Some days are better than others. On a good day, I feel perfectly visible and find I`m getting smiles and eye contact ( mostly from friendly women these days.....) while at other times the cloak of invisibility is definitely there. It can have its advantages, You can people-watch without anyone noticing!

    I love your seascapes and crashing waves. A beautiful place to be invisible in, but I`m sure you are not!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Funnily enough I mind invisibility less as I go into my sixties than I did in my forties. Nowadays I find I can turn visibility on and off which is quite good fun. No make up, scraggy fleece and keep my head down and I might not be there at all, which is sometimes quite relaxing and amusing. Put on some colourful clothes and walk along with my head up deliberately engaging with people and it is not much different from the way it used to be. I quite like being able to choose!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I have found the same thing as I get older, I make those young store clerics talk to me anyway. I think as I have gotten older it has given me more confidence to just chat away with them whether they like it or not.....
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete