Friday 25 April 2014

Friday Confessional



Hello there. And hello to new followers. You are most welcome here!

The photograph has literally no relation to the words on the page. It is simply here to offset the three tales of woe that have beset me in the past twenty four hours. Before I catalogue them, I should explain that I have not been with it for much of this week. Marc was given notice at the beginning of the month, and his last working day is today. There is currently no other job in the offing (he is a self employed contracts engineer) and as you can imagine, it's a rather unpleasant place to be.

Although he has been very upbeat about it all, I confess I have been fretting. Fretting about the obvious. Bills, mortgage payments and the like. But (and I am a little ashamed to admit this) fretting about the not so obvious. The longed for house move, the potential loss of financial security and all of the stuff that I have gotten used to over the past couple of years. Spoilt madam, that's me. Marc works away, so that me and the boys can live here. He makes all the sacrifice, and I make very little when it comes down to it. I don't live out of a suitcase during the week. I can see the children every day. I live and waft about in my own ridiculous world. A world that is pretty cool actually, punctuated by short blasts of stress. Usually at bedtime or the five minutes before Alfie leaves for school. Teeny tiny compared to the demands of a high pressured job, and only a generic motel bedroom to look forward to at the end of the day.

So picture me fretting. Going about my daily life. But fretting. Distracted. Not thinking or concentrating properly. And something has happened to me as a consequence of that. So here it is. My confession. OK. Deep breath.......

 "I backed the car into a wall because another stupid driver wouldn't back up when he should, so I do and I got all flustered because I was late taking Sam to college and my nephew to the Orthodontist and Olly was bleating in the back of the car and wham! Oh FFS!!!! Marc is going to be mad when he sees it, and I know that Olly will drop me in it it anyway because that's what kids do to you isn't it? Grass you up. And I was so mad and upset when it happened. I got out to look at the damage. I kicked the tyre. I swore. And I mean I really swore. The air was blue by the time I was finished. I shook my fist to the heavens. Why I don't know. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. And as I drove the boys to their various destinations, I cried. Big fat feeling sorry for myself tears. Tears of frustration (I'm such a crap driver). Tears of worry (what on earth will Marc say). Tears for tears sake. I just wanted a hug and a huge piece of cake and a latte and a don't worry. It will all be okay. It's just a car. No-one got hurt."

Do you think that it's just possible that if Marc reads this at Exeter services, he may not be so mad at his ridiculous wife? Sorry lovely boy. It was an accident. Yes I know, another one. But I never mean to bash the car. Look at the pretty picture above. Feel it's calming influence. Take a deep breath. And know that I love you. And I shall make it up to you........

Have a great weekend everyone.

Leanne xx

(Oh and I also set fire to my gilet while I was cooking tea last night. And I broke two plates and a mug this week. Sorry. Again).

20 comments:

  1. So, I really am at Exeter services. Honest, i'm not making it up. I've just got a Costa coffee. The bad news is, I can't see how we can convince the insurance company that the dents already at front of the car and the new damage at the back were all a single incident. I will try. Good news is, I start new contract on Wednesday. There better be a bottle of something good open when I get home. You clumsy cretin. Loves ya. Marc

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  2. I am smiling from ear to ear xx x x.

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  3. Hi Leanne, sorry that you have been having a crappy time. I think that you are totally justified, sometimes we just need to feel awful when things are not going our way. However, it sounds as though the lovely Marc has pulled a cat out of the bag and worked a miracle on a new job so things might be looking up! Good luck getting the car sorted out, I'm sure that it will be. I return your chin up buttercup as I am not currently using it and it sounds as though you need it more than me right now! I hope that you have a much better weekend and that things go your way again very soon. Take care there girl. xx

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  4. Okay, everything about this post is incredible, from your writing and your honesty to the holy-cow-what-a-guy in the comments. Chin up, Leanne. You're doing fine. Hugs and cake at my house, get here soon. x

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  5. Sometimes life just piles in on you but Marc sounds like a star. Sending you a big hug as you sound like you need it.
    Ps is it really bad that I laughed at the unintentional gilet arson? I'm sorry I just wasn't expecting it. If Marc has got another job you might want to invest in a home delivered meal from the takeaway till your bad luck fairy goes off to annoy someone else.

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  6. Oh your man is a star Leanne, reading his comment above (and I am assuming it is not someone taking the mickey!) just made me fall in love with him. Well, ok, not quite but say hello anyway.

    Some weeks, all just falls apart, I know the feeling and I am thinking of you. Keep your chin up, next week will be better. Email me if you need to vent, please do. Here's my secret: I am a car basher, too. Once I drove into the Tesco car park, slowing down because of a tremendous noise, wondering why on earth people are turning towards ME. Guess what? I drove under the height barrier with the bike carrier AND a bike, both of which were ripped of the car and demolished the roof. My other bashes are not quite so comical but there is a high wall nearby that always prompts Annie to say "this is where mummy always bashes the car".

    I hope you only burnt the gilet and not your skin! Christina xx

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  7. Oh honey, I'm so sorry about Marc's job. I've been through this on more than one occasion, and I know exactly how horrible it is. But trust me when I say you will get through it okay. Life will roll on, and something will turn up. He is lucky to have such a wonderful wife, despite the prang. And I'm sure he knows it. I'm glad no-one was hurt, but do please be careful when cooking the tea. What were you doing?! Your cooking is clearly far more adventurous than mine. I'm sending you a massive cyber-hug Leanne. CJ xxxxxxxxx

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  8. Accidents happen, even when you're not stressed up. I once managed to back into a pillar, at speed, in a multi storey car park even when it was totally empty. I had the whole bloomin' space free to manoeuvre in. AND the car had one of those systems in the back bumper that peeps at you when you come close to hitting anything..

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  9. Sounds like you're week is getting better already, and you've made a lot of people laugh (maybe unintentionally). Oh, and I just figured out google + and sent you a message back! My car is held together with sticking tape, and I like to convince myself that you need a few bumps to look like a local. Antonia x

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  10. Poor you, but at least you've been forgiven. I'm a wrecker too. Once backed into a cement mixer on the driveway and last year knocked over an expensive speaker and put my finger though it. Was not popular! He sounds like a great bloke, your husband.

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  11. but IT IS only a car, and you are a very special person; and it's ok to raise your fist and swear from time to time; to be completely honest with you (since you are with me/us), these days I have had many drama queen moments at home, and Bridget Jones moments at work, both of which make me smile now. I guess, there is no such thing a glass of wine and a good night sleep can't make better. Take care, and don't forget the wine xx

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  12. Leanne, I have totally been there. With the job, the stress and the completely distracted car bashing. I had tears and swearing and the kicking. I was all ready to write you a comforting reply but then I saw Mark's comment and I felt a little leap of joy. You guys will be ok, because you're a team. Have a fab weekend (and it's getting warmer so you won't need your gilet so much and fewer mugs means less to pack when you move). ;-) Suzie x

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  13. you are definitely not alone here! hope you are feeling better, Heather x

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  14. Oh Leanne, bless you! Hope everything sorts out for the best soon!

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  15. Oh dear, what a time you had. The uncertainty of it all must have been so hard to deal with. But self immolation seems a little extreme as a response ... sorry, I'm only laughing because of Marc's wonderful comment ... hope you guys had the best weekend x

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  16. Phew! A happy ending. Hope you've had a better weekend than week. Go gently, especially in the car and kitchen xo

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  17. oh poo!!!!! how was he? any news yet on job fronts? big hugs!!!!!! xxxx

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  18. Oh Leanne!!! Laughing and crying along with you. We all have days like that, or I do anyway. I haven't had any car accidents but my Husband is always quick to remind me about the state of the front left-hand side of the car - those pillars at the supermarket car-park just seem to get in the way all the time!!! Love Marcs comment - sounds like all is sorted on the work front, thank goodness. It's so stressful worrying about finances, we were in that boat 2 years ago when Daniel didn't have a job - it still makes me anxious thinking about it...hope this week is turning around for you :-) Mel xxx

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  19. Oh no!! I am very relieved to hear from Marc's above comment that things are hopefully more secure (phew!) and I am glad for you both - I would not wish our recent months of financial uncertainty on anyone. Don't worry about the car, it's only a thing. That's what I tell John since I have scraped our car three times while backing out of the drive, and he's never done it. Our car is old and battered now so who cares... Take care lady and try not to set fire to yourself!! xx

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  20. Oh dear it sure seems like you had a rough week. I do hope that its well and truly brushed under the carpet now. I know some people like to remind us just how bad our driving can be for too long after the event! xoxo

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