I have been fretting a lot this past couple of weeks. It has made me irritable and unsettled. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything for very long. I wander around the house picking up and putting down. I put off things I need to do until...whenever. My diet has become a casualty too. I have stopped eating mindfully and am back to picking at food and eating wine gums.
I'm not sure if it's a state of lethargy or worry or another depressive episode trying to rear it's ugly head. Playing and creating with Olly is a chore. I just haven't got the energy or patience for making stuff out of cardboard or building train tracks. I am short tempered in general, and count the hours until I can loaf on the sofa watching episodes of The Good Wife on Netflicks.
It doesn't help that I have a stinker of a head cold, I guess. And my monthly - actually fortnightly- friend paying a visit. I think I need a holiday! I'd love to lie in the sunshine for a day or two. Eyes closed and faced raised to the sky. Feeling my freckles pop out one by one. A dip in the warm blue sea perhaps. Some lovely food prepared and cooked for me. Watching the sun set while drinking something bubbly.
I've been feeling guilty about not posting this week, which is daft. I've been worrying about future living arrangements. I've been sat looking at pictures taken of me recently and seeing age and girth. I've been struggling with aspects of life within these four walls. My mind is distracted by knowledge I'd rather not have.
Good grief. Talk about down in the dumps. Talk about the cycle of worry. Talk about apathy.
How do I snap out of it? Any suggestions?